tinder love and care

9 Dec

i’m not very up with the times and therefore i am not on tinder. it’s not that i’m opposed to tinder, it’s just that i still have hope that i will have my rom-com moment, [begin day-dream] the one where i knock down an entire display at trader joes and a handsome stranger helps me up and even though i’m covered in marinara sauce he insists we go grab coffee, which i tell him i don’t drink but he doesn’t care, he says we can go anywhere as long as he can hear about my life, my hopes and my dreams. he’s most likely some sort of doctor or world traveler or better yet, a world traveling doctor, who spends his free time volunteering and racing cars. [end rom-com day-dream]

if i keep putting out the vibe its bound to happen (or so my mother tells me). but tinder to me represents everything that is wrong with our generation. you’re hot….oh you think i’m hot too? cool let’s meet up with the hope of having sexual intercourse*. and i know what you’re thinking, not everyone who is on tinder is just looking to hook up, but i think it’s safe to say that 97.9% of dudes on tinder are just looking for females in close proximity to have sexual intercourse** with and/or an aggressive make out session.*** and i’m not willing to take that risk. plus my key chain mace is empty, so again, not worth the risk. but anyways i’m digressing…

so i met a guy organically. he was cute, funny and we had a few things in common. so we hung out a few times, i questioned if it was going anywhere and sure enough all my questions were answered when my roommate was scrolling through tinder and scrolled right past him. so i guess that clears up the whole exclusivity thing? on to the next one…****

*you’re probably thinking “ap, why can’t you just say sex? why must you always say sexual intercourse?” i really don’t have a good answer for you except i find it amusing. you’re welcome.

**and i did it again. can’t stop. won’t stop.

***i do have friends and family on tinder so i am in no way bashing it. its just not for me. and to my family and friends that are on it i just simply ask you to be safe and remember that only 2.1% of people on it have good intentions. scroll wisely!

****preferably one that is not on tinder.

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